It isn’t like I haven’t been told before it is unhealthy. I already knew it. I just didn’t care. You see, if something is painful or too difficult for me to deal with I pack it in a “mental box” and tape it up and put it away. I have been doing it for much of my life.
I have many, many boxes of things that I just haven’t ever emotionally dealt with. I was either not properly equipped at the time or just didn’t want to deal with the emotions. I know from talking with other women, even sisters-in-Christ, I am not the only one who does this.
Well, God has this way… yesterday I quite literally walked straight into one of my most painful boxes. I ran into my ex-husband who was extremely abusive to me any and every way you can possibly imagine. My box was torn to shreds in an instant. All of the past fears and insecurities and pain were loose and I could not contain it. Why am I telling you this, you may ask?
Well, because I do not believe in coincidence. I am participating in the Ladies Bible study, which is on the book of James and on mercy. I can honestly say I forgave my ex-husband years ago for the abuse, but forgiving him obviously was not dealing with the emotional garbage that goes along with it all. But I have faith in God to help me with what the contents of this box. Beth Moore, the author of this bible study, said in our session last night. “Healing comes from studying the word. “ I will keep you posted on my healing as God works His wonders in my life!
God has me right where I need to be at the right time to deal with this garbage. Thank You, God for Your Sovereignty!